Those Days...

Those days were clearer now..

    Pain lurking around, calling on often

Amidst dizziness of fear unknown

    Rather, fear for the unknown

Days were shrouded in white then... 

Now the 'vision' is sharper

      I can see the smile of my nurse,

Sense the needles moving beneath my skin,

     Hear her instructions better.

Feel the smell of coffee dissolving into

     The sourness of disinfectants...

The past lingers 

             with all its life...

    When my present is unknown...

Its not hide and seek

    Its an absence

Till I move into something new..

Here, they come to dissect me

     To prolong life

The theatre is on...

      Numbness piercing me

Flesh is frozen

     Yet I see the green masks

With their surgical blades

      On the the table I am sleeping...

           A sound sleep..

Into a World of Darkness

All of a sudden, I have become an actor:

An actor in myriad costumes;

Coated with Colgate smiles and cordialities

 Oozing out from me rhetorics, polished…

Perhaps I am acting well

I was taken into the crew

And to my wonder!

I am moving on!!!

………………………

Cheers and frothing drinks

A burnished world of tapestry…

Glittering faces in silky sarees,

 Morbid physiques in ironed suits…

In all smiles!!

Nothing else… measured smiles

I too learned that art of smiling

As perfumed hands embraced me,

I stood like a statue

Need I return the embrace?

But I remember,

I too was smiling then…

……………………………………..

Now the last ray of light too flickered, and died

Into in a deep hollow,

I opened my eyes… reluctantly

I saw me then…

Lost in wilderness

Laughing and howling

Soiling myself with dust rough;

I took a deep breath

As if I need a thousand days’ fill

I was afraid of suffocation

I need more…I need more…

…………………………….

The lights came to life again

And force me shut my eyes

Shut my world… shut my love

               I gave in

I closed my eyes tight

And waited for another darkness

To come and make me a Narcissus

A Rain on Me

I walked into the rain

Amidst a thousand revelers

Dancing and roaring

As they splashed waters

On each other’s twinkling eyes.

I felt the waters piercing my wrinkled,

Thirsty skin, which hesitated a little

At the maiden touch of the frenzied rain…

I shivered, as the heat of my body

Began to leave me, complaining

The new one’s encroachment.

And I felt guilty

For expelling the one

That burned my soul and flesh

For days and nights…

Yes, the summer has left my life!

    As I drenched in the new rain’s exotic order,

  I became an emptiness… a void..

   I stood in those heavenly showers

       Until I got myself dampened and full…

             Until I lost myself …